Chapped

     I was stopped dead in my tracks last week when my dog ate my lip balm. I have a whole drawer of unopened lip balm cylinders waiting to be used, but losing this particular one upended me. Seriously, I almost cried. 

       What in the world was going on? Did I need to return to counseling? How would I explain my loss of composure over a $3 luxury item?

      It was my fault. I left it in the pocket of my sweatpants that were tossed to the floor. While I showered, Dash sniffed out the small purple Kauai Kiss and decided it tasted as good as it smelled. My heart sank the moment I saw the little white cap bent beyond recognition beside her while she licked out the contents of the longer part. 

     I finished getting ready to go to church halfheartedly, all the while knowing I was being incredibly silly over lip balm. I tried to take inventory of the pain while sipping my coffee. Obviously there was a greater dilemma going on inside.

     I bought the lip balm in Hawaii two years ago and every time I used it, I remembered how it felt being there, so far away from my own reality. It was in January of the year I turned 50 and my outlook on life was starting a new chapter.

     That trip was pivotal in many ways. It took guts to tell my husband that I would be going. It took time to save enough money to pay off the plane ticket and still have enough left over to enjoy myself. But in going, I had jump started a new approach to life. I had decided that I wouldn’t be the one buried under a tombstone that said:

Here lies Krista. She forgot to live.

     I think we can become so used to taking care of everyone around us that we forget to enjoy the life God has given us. I had become that person and I am grateful that I recognized it before it was too late.

     I have since made bigger decisions like taking a new job out of my comfort zone and planning my first trip across the pond to London and Wimbledon this summer.

    In the moments after I found my smashed and mangled Kauai Kiss, I had felt a swipe against my new boldness. I’m still tentative when it comes to crashing against the tide and choosing me. The lines blur between feeling selfish and being healthy. It is a learning process.

     Thankfully, I’m moving past the loss and I won’t stay in a chapped lip funk. I opened a new tube from the drawer and come June, I will purchase a British brand of balm to soothe my traveling lips while I plan my next adventure.

Life’s a Journey. Pay Attention.